We could afford a garden table so why didn’t we buy one?

For years, we've had a small bistro table in our garden, with just two chairs.

When my husband and I bought it, it was exactly the right table for our life at the time. There were two of us, and for a long time we hoped that one day there might be three.

Then Harry arrived and, while our family grew, that table stayed exactly the same size.

Eight years later, and with every summer that passed, we'd still find ourselves squeezing around the same little table. Harry would drag a bar stool out from the kitchen, plates would end up balanced on laps, and glasses would be carefully placed wherever there happened to be space. 

It wasn't ideal, but we made it work - or at least that's what we told ourselves.

This summer was no different, and we decided to kick it off with a barbecue. We'd been to M&S and filled the trolley with prawn skewers, tikka kebabs, posh hot dogs and a bottle of wine. Jim was outside doing the manly barbecue job, everything was ready, and we were looking forward to sitting down together and enjoying it.

Then came the familiar routine: Harry was perched on a stool from the kitchen, I was balancing my plate on my knee, and my glass of wine was sitting on the ground because there wasn't room for it on the table. And suddenly we looked at each other and thought: “What are we doing? We can afford a garden table. Why haven't we bought one?”

The funny thing is that the answer wasn't really about money, at least not in the way most would think.

The question behind the question

One of the most common questions people ask when they're planning for retirement is whether they'll have enough: enough money, income, savings and security. It's an important question, and understandably so. None of us wants to reach a point in life where we're worried about whether the money will last.

But there's often another question sitting behind that. Even when the numbers suggest everything is fine, many people still struggle with spending, because they don't quite feel comfortable doing so. The financial plan might tell them they can spend more, the cashflow forecast might show they're in a strong position, and the evidence may be sitting right there in front of them. Yet they still don't quite feel they have ‘permission’ to do it.

There are many reasons for this: lots of us spend decades building habits around saving, being careful and preparing for the future. Those habits serve us well for a very long time. In many cases they're the reason we've built financial security in the first place. The challenge comes when the time arrives to start enjoying some of what we've spent years building, because knowing you can do something and feeling ready to do it are two very different things.

This is where financial planning becomes about much more than spreadsheets and projections. While the technical side is important, it isn't usually the hardest part. The real challenge is often helping someone bridge the gap between what the plan tells them and how they feel about acting on it. They may know they can afford to replace the kitchen, book the holiday or help their children financially. The numbers might be crystal clear, but feeling comfortable enough to take that next step is something else entirely, something many people need support with.

Why is an ice cream easier than a garden table?

Another thing I've noticed is that we often find it easier to spend money on small, frivolous pleasures than on bigger things that could genuinely improve our lives.

On a hot day, most people won't think twice about buying an ice cream. We'll also happily pay for a coffee with friends, a takeaway on a Friday night or a bottle of wine to enjoy over the weekend. Yet somehow a purchase that costs more, even when it's affordable and will bring years of enjoyment, can feel much harder to justify.

We tell ourselves we can manage without it, we question whether we really need it, we wonder whether the money could be put to better use somewhere else. And that's exactly what happened with our garden table.

For years we accepted a situation that was mildly frustrating every single summer because buying a replacement somehow felt indulgent, yet we'd spend money on all sorts of other things (M&S posh hot dogs for example!) without giving them nearly as much thought.

That’s not to dismiss the importance of caution. This year, the headlines have felt particularly heavy: economic uncertainty and geopolitical tensions to name but two. These all matter and helping you to navigate that is an important part financial planning, but if that's all we ever talk about, it's easy to forget why we're having those conversations in the first place.

Money is there to provide security, but it should also provide opportunities.

It should create experiences, make life easier in ways that matter to you, and sometimes it should simply allow you to sit comfortably around a table with the people you love on a warm summer evening.

Financial planning isn't about accumulating wealth for the sake of it, it's about helping you use your resources in a way that supports the life you want to live.

Getting that balance right is what good financial planning is really about - and sometimes, it starts with a garden table.